


Office Supply Secrets

by CharlieDemandsCoffee



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Angst, Drabble, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 05:11:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11154930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharlieDemandsCoffee/pseuds/CharlieDemandsCoffee
Summary: Pete can measure his life out in pens.





	Office Supply Secrets

Pete can measure his life out in pens.

It's strange to say, but he feels like an architect of misery, his materials shipped to him in Office Max trucks. He takes pride in the pile of dead pens he has at the bottom of his bag. 

Pete's therapist had suggested that he write down what he was feeling, not knowing she was opening a door Pete couldn't close. Not knowing she was an accomplice. 

So Pete writes about Patrick. 

Between the bass shredding his fingers to pieces and the pens coming along like carrion feeders, Pete spends most his time bleeding. 

Pete sits with his back against the tour bus wall, scratching away in his notebook. He's numb around the edges, but he's not concerned.

The words never feel like anything much until Patrick rips them apart onstage, anyway. 

"Hey, Salinger," Joe says, tapping Pete's shoe. 

"Yeah?"

"We're stopping up here. You want food?"

Pete nods, quickly underlines the word "need" in his bridge. 

They're outside of Cincinnati, or Indianapolis. Pete stopped counting the road signs three pens ago.

The medication bubbles along his bloodstream. He hopes whatever Joe brings back helps settle his stomach. 

Tonight they'll go onstage. Tonight Patrick will scream Pete's secrets to an entire crowd of people, who will sing along with him. And tonight Patrick will pretend the words he's singing aren't about him. 

And tonight Pete will let that break his heart all over again because he doesn't know what else he can do. 

Patrick smiles at him across the bus, innocent and friendly, and Pete feels nauseated as he smiles back. There will never be a "them". There will never be a future that doesn't include each other on the fringes. 

Pete knows he carries this thing around like a corpse. He's heavy with it, but he can't put it down. 

A quick shake to his pen tells him he's almost out of ink again. Joe shakes the frame of the bus as he steps back on, hands Pete a carry out plate. Dust blows up around the windows and they take off again. Andy checks his phone from the counter. 

Pete eats while he writes. It tastes like ash. He hates his hands, his mind, the way they can't stop. He hates himself down to whatever strand of DNA made him like this.

Whatever strand of DNA made Patrick different. 

They pass a road sign that Pete doesn't catch, a blur of green above them, and Pete's pen skips, going blank. 

Patrick's humming to himself now, filling the bus, the dark little corners of Pete. It's a love song.

Pete stares, waits for him to look up. 

He doesn't.

Pete reaches into his bag and pulls out a pen, uncaps it. Patrick goes quiet, the melody trembling out. 

Pete keeps writing. 

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little Drabble. Still getting my feet wet :)


End file.
